Love Yourself Enough To… Say No
Unless you are a very selfish person, we often find ourselves over extended because we simply can’t say no. As individuals, we generally feel an obligation to always help others without realizing that we may be causing undo stress by trying to do everything for everybody. But for our on peace of mind, it is okay to say no from time to time. It is even okay to say no at work, to relatives and love ones. The key is finding a way to say no without being jerk about it. Here are some pointers on how to say no and still maintain personal and working relations.
Saying no isn't necessarily selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you're honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you'll be able to devote high-quality time to them.
Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you've always helped plan the company softball tournament doesn't mean you must do it forever. Saying no gives you time to pursue other interests.
Always saying yes isn't healthy. When you're overcommitted and under too much stress, you're more likely to feel run-down and possibly get sick.
Saying yes can cut others out. On the other hand, when you say no, you open the door for others to step up. Or you can delegate someone to take over the task. They may not do things the way you would, but that's OK. They'll find their own way.
When to say no
- Focus on what matters most. Examine your obligations and priorities before making any new commitments. Ask yourself if the new commitment is important to you. If it's something you feel strongly about, do it. If not, take a pass.
- Weigh the yes-to-stress ratio. . Don't say yes if it will mean months of added stress. Instead, look for other ways to pitch in.
- Take guilt out of the equation. Don't agree to a request you would rather decline out of guilt or obligation. Doing so will likely lead to additional stress and resentment.
- Sleep on it. Before you respond, take a day to think about the request and how it fits in with your current commitments. If you can't sleep on it, at least take the time to think the request through before answering.
How to say no
- Say no. The word "no" has power. Don't be afraid to use it. Be careful about using wimpy substitute phrases, such as "I'm not sure" or "I don't think I can." These can be interpreted to mean that you might say yes later.
- Be brief. State your reason for refusing the request, but don't go on about it. Avoid elaborate justifications or explanations.
- Be honest. Don't fabricate reasons to get out of an obligation. The truth is always the best way to turn down a friend, family member or co-worker.
- Be respectful. Many good causes may land at your door, and it can be tough to turn them down. Complementing the group's effort while saying that you can't commit shows that you respect what they're trying to accomplish.
- Be ready to repeat. You may need to refuse a request several times before the other person accepts your response. When that happens, just hit the replay button. Calmly repeat your no, with or without your original rationale, as needed.
Saying no is not an easy thing to do. Consider this, learning to say no can help eliminate stress which helps to keep you healthy. So, saying no sometimes, frees you up to do other things more effectively.
Love Yourself Enough To…
Source – Mayo Clinic, lifehack.com